Imperfection tells us something isn’t perfect. There’s something wrong, something missing and we learn this is bad. But perfect is a seven letter word that should not exist. It’s an illusion and subjective. This gave me a realization. An insight that turned my whole life upside down.
Perfectionism was my best friend and an even better colleague. She helped me with my homework, my reports became excellent and with my jobs she made sure I had good evaluations. On personal level we didn’t match that well. Because of her I always thought my social life could be more fun, and especially be better, greater and prettier than everyone elses. Every judgment had a value, mostly bad, wrong or negative.
“AND FAILING WAS NO OPTION, THINKS PERFECTIONISM”
During my master degree it took it’s toll. Sometimes you raise the bar too high. Well I could not see my bar anymore. I was striving more, better and everything had to be perfect in one try! The more you are looking up, the smaller, lower and deeper you are putting yourself. Well, I hit rock bottom. Panic attacks, a lot of crying, extreme stress, and the agitated feeling that I could not do it all. And failing was no option, thinks Perfectionism.
At one point it was done! I read the quote saying pefect shouldn’t exist and I started to ask myself if I agreed. What would it say? For me everything always had to be perfect. On the one hand it felt deliberating, but on the other hand it was terrifying. What’s next?
Acknowledging was a good start. Sounds cliché, but from the moment I realized that it had to stop, I asked for help, and started working, I felt I took a good turn. Aware of my judgments and my limitless sky. Everything always had to be better, prettier, faster and so higher. Endless possibilities. But little by little, step by step, slowly I learned that good is good enough. And I created a ceiling for my limitless sky. Not striving perfection anymore and accepting my imperfections. This is when imperfect became I’mperfect. I’m perfect, because I know perfect doesn’t exist.
“IF PERFECT WOULD EXIST, MISTAKES WOULD NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST…”
Nowadays I can put my good friend and esteemed colleague to work whenever I need it. This possibility helps me to float around in a lazy river just relaxing, instead of drowning in her overwhelming and vigorous waterslide. Not eliminating her, but search for the quality, find it and use it carefully. I’m human and mistakes take me forward. If perfect would exist, mistakes would not have the right to exist. This way you won’t learn, go forward, or develop. You’ll just stand still.
Do you recognize the struggle with perfectionism? Do you feel obstructed because you strive perfection? Are you judging about yourself, others, and are you thinking about the judgment of others? I totally get you! I understand, because I’ve lived like that for years. But now it’s not a problem anymore. I can cope with it and use the quality it also contains. And I want that for you too! With individual coaching sessions we can start looking for your way to become I’mperfect.
Blurry and therefore useless? Or a nice picture and therefore perfect?